


kung hindi ikaw (ay sino pa ba?)

by heartstop



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Implied Smut, M/M, Please Don't Kill Me, fuck buddies au, fuck buddies na may feelings LOL, haha i don't know kung ano ito, kaharutan lang ng chonbike, sobrang sobrang kaunting angst i can't, taglish
Language: Filipino
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-04
Updated: 2019-01-08
Packaged: 2019-10-04 00:05:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17293874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heartstop/pseuds/heartstop
Summary: “mahal mo?” tanong ni kyungsoo sa kaibigan niyang nakahandusay sa sahig ng condo nilang dalawa.“oo.” mahinang sagot ni baekhyun.“mahal ka?” sunod namang tanong ni kyungsoo.“oo. ata. baka.” mas mahinang sagot ni baekhyun sabay patong ng braso niya sa mga mata niya.“bakit hindi kayo?”at katahimikan na lamang ang sumagot sa huling tanong ng lalaking semi-kalbo ang buhok.





	1. rupok part 1

**Author's Note:**

> my first time writing chanbaek so be kind to me! >_< also my first time writing na taglish yung gamit.
> 
> also also ALSO, i wrote it nang sobrang sabog from work, soooooo medyo rushed and nag-iiba yung tone ng kwento. medyo may sudden change din ng POV.
> 
> regardless, i hope i did justice even just a tiny bit.
> 
> hope the prompter is satisfied.
> 
>  
> 
> [if you want to listen i made a spotify playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/qgyxbf1r8kkl54ex9u695phvf/playlist/4ibtdgP2uwtBOvRowZhXM7?si=bqtLUgUlRaezMa8w-CmQyw)
> 
>  
> 
> thank you in advance sa mga magbabasa. let's start the tangahan session shall we?
> 
>  
> 
> [pwede nyo akong awayin sa twitter: [@taembaekist]](https://twitter.com/taembaekist)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 1\. kung saan nung nagsabog ng katangahan, sinalo lahat ni baekhyun byun

 

 

~

 

nung nagsabog siguro ng katangahan, ka-martyran, kalandian, at kalibugan sa mundo, sinalo lahat ng isang baekhyun byun at may dala-dala pa siyang dalawang timba sa magkabilang kamay - dahil nandito na naman siya sa condo unit ng isang chanyeol park - pinipindot ang password (dahil alam na nya to, para san pa ang weekly booty calls nila diba) at dali-daling, walang pasabing dumiretso papasok sa condo unit na nirerentahan ni chanyeol sa QC.

 

at dahil studio type ang condo unit na nirerentahan ni chanyeol, maliit lang ito - pang-isang tao lang, pang-isang malaking chanyeol park lang. at dahil maliit lang ito, masisilip mo agad kung saan nakalagay yung kama niya. ang kalat. yung tv bukas sa balita. baekhyun wanted to snort kasi, yes balita.

 

hinubad nya ang sapatos niya, sabay lapag ng bag nya na may laptop pa. pumasok siya completely sa condo at nakita niya agad na nakasando at shorts si chanyeol sa mini kusina nya. baekhyun tiptoed quietly, kasi gusto nya sanang gulatin si chanyeol pero it backfired. biglang humarap si chanyeol - sobrang lapit ng mukha nila sa isa't-isa. baekhyun was not prepared at all, he let out a squeak and backed away - sinuntok nya muna ang binata at mahinang, “gago. nagulat ako.”

then chanyeol, the asshole that he is, laughed.

 

“hi hyun.” chanyeol said, bumalik na siya sa pagluluto. naglalagay siya ng bell peppers. “narinig ko na may nagkekey-in ng password ko. of course i know it's you, hyun.”`

hyun.

 

baekhyun used to hate nicknames (baekkie ang tawag sa kanya ng mama nya until now, and sometimes she uses it sa very high-pitched voice with some nagging involved) - and now well, let's say na nagflu-flutter yung puso nya whenever chanyeol calls him hyun. kasi special at which is lagi. mapasa-kama man yan, during their cuddling sessions, during their facetime sessions, every day, as in. he looks forward to hearing chanyeol use that nickname everytime.

 

_hyun._

_  
_

**tangina**. kakilig naman.

 

sumilip siya sa niluluto ni chanyeol. kalderetang buto-buto. napangiti siya ng palihim dahil paborito nya to. chanyeol likes to cook, and baekhyun likes to eat, and chanyeol is more than willing to cook for him everytime he comes over. as they say nga, a way to a person's heart is through his stomach. and baekhyun can confirm na chanyeol is doing a pretty good job in that area. he has baekhyun wrapped around his fingers completely. hindi lang dahil sa masarap na sa meat niya na currently boiling, but his other meat too.

 

nakita niya pang maraming binubudbod na cheese ang binata. favorite rin ito ni baekhyun. he smiles yet again, of course. chanyeol knows, he giddily thinks. pinapakilig nya lang sarili niya. what’s wrong naman diba?

 

“hoy tama na. maalat na yan.” sabi ni baekhyun, pagtigil niya chanyeol sa pag-grate pa ng cheese. 

 

tumawa si chanyeol. “di pa naman. estimated ko naman to, hyun.” sabi niya habang hinahalo ang kumukulong kaldereta. sumandok siya ng kaunting sabaw at tinikman ito. 

 

“besides ang sarap kaya.” sabi niya, nilapit yung sandok sa bibig ni baekhyun na inilagan naman ng isa.

 

_unsanitary. grabe._

 

medyo nag-whine si baekhyun kasi, “yeol! ano ba yan. ang baboy! baka mapanis yan agad.”

 

tumawa lang ulit si chanyeol at nagkibit-balikat. “tayo lang kakain, hyun. isa pa alam kong uubusin mo to. kinakain mo lahat ng luto ko.” sabi niya pa sabay kindat. 

 

gago, naisip ni baekhyun. 

 

inikot na lang nya ang mata nya kasi chanyeol was right. he always is. totoo naman na hindi nareresist ng isang tangang baekhyun si chanyeol park. ganun siya kacharming. and ganun naman kabobo si baekhyun. 

 

so panindigan na natin pagkabobo ni baekhyun, shall we? he stayed silent, watching chanyeol stirring the kaldereta. watching him biting his lips while concentrating. nakikita niya yung butil-butil na pawis sa noo nya, yung pagbubukas ng pores nya sa steam. everything. kung natutunaw ang titig, malamang nag-evaporate na rin si chanyeol along the steam ng kaldereta. or worst, baka maging seasoning siya sa kaldereta na kakainin ni baekhyun. and baekhyun doesn't want to eat him like _that._ _literally._

 

~

 

pagkatapos nilang kumain na tumagal ng mahigit na isang oras, (kasi yes, nag rock-paper-scissors pa sila kung sino maghuhugas na in the end, sila rin namang dalawa na naglaro pa ng bubbles at nagwisikan ng tubig) - nakaupo na sila sa couch na malapit sa higaan ni chanyeol. nakalagay ang hita ni baekhyun sa lap ni chanyeol na minamasahe naman neto. nanonood sila ng ang probinsyano kasi guilty pleasure to ni chanyeol okay? 

 

“alam mo ang weird mo talaga. of all telenovelas ang probinsyano pa?” pangmamock ni baekhyun to which chanyeol rolled his eyes. kabisado na ni chanyeol to, ang linyahan ni baekhyun insulting his taste in movies, music, heck even yung basketball team na sinusuportahan nya. pero he doesn't seriously take offense sa lahat. 

 

_after all this is his hyun._

 

“coco martin is a fine man okay. hindi ko kasalanan your taste in men sucked balls.” sabi ni chanyeol, sighing in defeat kasi yes, napaamin na naman siya ni baekhyun na celebrity crush nya si coco martin (may back story ito kung saan si coco martin talaga ang gay awakening ni chanyeol and long story short, nanood siya dati ng ang masahista at 15 year old chanyeol had some realizations. one of his deepest secrets din niya yan na *surprise* si baekhyun lang ang may alam, which baekhyun found cute and amusing) - and cue, baekhyun's laughter, dahil he's mean at gusto nyang nagsusuffer si chanyeol.

 

chanyeol really doesn't mind everything lalo na kung makikita naman at maririnig nya ang tawa ng isang baekhyun byun - crinkled eyes, and rectangle mouth. tumawa pa si baekhyun at napatigil lang ito nung may nagnudge sa ilong nya, and wala pang two seconds, chanyeol's mouth was latched on his. his breath hitched. and soon, he was kissing chanyeol back. 

 

_bingo._

 

baekhyun enjoys teasing him and chanyeol lets him. because he can do this. eto naman talaga yung pinunta ni baekhyun dito eh. eto rin naman talaga yung dahilan kung bakit tinawag siya ni chanyeol. 

 

baekhyun is nothing more than a fuck buddy. and it's clear as a day, ayaw ni chanyeol ng commitment. kung bakit, hindi rin alam ni baekhyun. for him, chanyeol is an open book with some chapters still locked, para bang free pdf ng college textbooks pero kailangan mong i-avail bago mo mabasa lahat. and baekhyun, though his family is rich and may credit card siya, still can't afford the luxury. wala pa nga siya sa kalahati - locked na. closed na. he can't even get in sa pinaka-surface ni chanyeol park. nasa preface pa lang siya ng textbook, _wala na. finish na._  

 

that's why he settled for this. sa kamay ni chanyeol sa pwet nya. sa mga halik ni chanyeol sa kanyang panga pababa sa kanyang leeg. sa pagkagat sa tenga nya at sa pagbalik ng bibig nito sa kanyang mga labi. 

 

siguro (kim chiu's voice) tanga na talaga kung tanga, ang dami ng nagsabi sa kanya ng ganyan. pero sino ba naman si baekhyun para tanggihan si chanyeol, ang mga halik neto? at ang init ng katawan neto? 

 

_“babe....”_ bulong ni chanyeol sa tenga nya, sabay kagat sa lobe neto. napapikit at napaungol nang mahina si baekhyun. kasi eto na naman siya.

 

_babe...._

_  
_

_babe...._

**tangina naman oh.**

 

sanay na siyang binibigkas ni chanyeol ang salitang iyon and he really doesn't mind. in fact, gustung-gusto nya ngang naririnig iyon. gusto nyang inuungol ni chanyeol yun. 

 

siguro talaga nung nagpaulan ng katangahan hindi lang siya nasa labas at may hawak na dalawang timba, pati timba ng mga kapitbahay nya kinuha rin niya pangsalo - pangreserba kumbaga. 

 

matapos ang monologue niya, na wala naman talagang kinahinatnan, dahil eto siya ngayon, nasa ibabaw ng binata, lost in pleasure, riding chanyeol. his tshirt was lifted, and chanyeol was tweaking his nipple. _gago._

sex with chanyeol is always good. laging bago. hindi nakakasawa. that's why he's addicted to it. 

 

sino bang nagsabi na he can't have sex without setting aside his feelings? taurus yata siya. and hindi niya ipapahiya ang tagapagsugo ng taurus sign. kung tite at pwet lang din naman ang gusto ni chanyeol, then baekhyun as a taurus is more than willing to comply. 

~

after their tryst, siyempre being fuck buddies for more than a year, being one of baekhyun's close friends too, hindi lang sex ang benefits ng lahat. may cuddle time na rin sila. level up naman ang relationship nila, so siyempre to the highest level din ang pagkirot ng puso ni baekhyun diba. kasi chanyeol is a clingy and cuddly bastard. and sobrang ang sarap nyang mang-spoon. sobrang cuddly, and wow ang sarap talagang mahalin, (byun baekhyun, 2017)

 

chanyeol runs his fingers sa buhok ni baekhyun na sobrang pawis na. ang lakas na rin ng air conditioner nila ha. pero di na rin siya nagtaka, sa 2 rounds ba naman nila eh. one sa couch, with baekhyun on top. and the other, doggy style with baekhyun on all fours sa kama ni chanyeol, para di mag-pasa yung tuhod niya, because and we quote “gago yeol, may swimming akong subject tomorrow” unquote, to which chanyeol chuckled and ordered him to kneel sa kama, which baekhyun being a ~~slut~~ he is, (read: for chanyeol ONLY) happily obliged.

 

chanyeol ghosted kisses over his face which made baekhyun stiffen in his embrace. ang gago talaga minsan ni chanyeol. “how was your day? i forgot to ask.” tanong ni chanyeol - his voice was really soft, like he's talking to a kid. and baekhyun wanted to laugh, gusto rin niyang mag-snort kahit yun na lang, because oh, the irony. but instead he just answered,

 

“ayos lang naman. had a surprise recitation kanina. luckily my name was not chosen.” sabi niya habang tinetrace yung tattoo ni yeol sa braso neto.

 

“hmmmm..” pag-hum naman ni chanyeol. “nothing exciting?” he said, yung kamay nya nasa bewang na ni baekhyun. and umiwas na si baekhyun, dahil alam na niya ang mangyayari. sobrang alam na ni chanyeol ang katawan ni baekhyun, unfortunately, he uses that knowledge para kilitiin siya.

 

“yeol.” baekhyun warned.

 

chanyeol's eyes were swimming in mischief. “wala man lang exciting? as in ako lang ba yung exciting na nangyari today?” pang-aasar nito habang hawak hawak pa rin ang bewang ni baekhyun.

 

and baekhyun groaned. “no. wag kang mayabang.” sabi niya habang unti-unting inaalis ang kanyang sarili sa hawak ni chanyeol. pero di kaya. chanyeol was just too strong for baekhyun's liking. and gusto niyang isisi to sa free platinum membership nito sa gym dahil yung cousin nya ay isang gym trainor. eto talaga ang nang-enable kay chanyeol to start working out and be fit, and while gusto to ni baekhyun, eto rin yung downfall niya. ang yummy kasi. wala siyang way maresist.

 

baekhyun successfully wriggled out of chanyeol’s grip. and chanyeol let him. but chanyeol wasn’t the one to back down. “so wala kang ikekwento sakin? like rants mo about your thesis mates or your international law professor?” tanong ulit ni chanyeol.

 

kabisado na nya si baekhyun. and though their relationship is strictly friends with benefits, chanyeol is still one of baekhyun’s confidants. they passed the awkward fuck buddy stage at ngayon may sarili na silang pillow talk every time they have sex. and baekhyun doesn’t mind all that. bukod sa sex, nilu-look forward nya rin to. na baka naman next time they will pass the small talks too – na someday maglevel up din yung how’s your day nila into something more – like maybe, how’s my baby naman. _ambisyoso._

 

and baekhyun will wait some more. maybe he can wait forever, maybe not. all he knows is chanyeol is worth waiting for.

 

nag-shrug si baekhyun, “eh. true na ang boring ng araw ko. and almost got into heated argument with my groupmates. you?” tanong nya, habang nakatitig sa mga mata ni chanyeol. he has beautiful large eyes. they’re always glassy and expressive. baekhyun always gets lost sa mga mata niya. and alam na alam na niya kung malungkot o masaya ang binata through his eyes. and this time? he is neither. pero may sparkle pa rin. sparkle na para kay baekhyun lang. sparkle na baekhyun can’t still pinpoint kung siya talaga ang cause. 

 

chanyeol stares back at may tipid na ngiti sa mga labi niya. he caresses baekhyun’s face, his thumb stopping sa bottom lip niya. his lips were swollen from their heated makeout session earlier. they hold each other’s stares for too long and baekhyun’s heart flutters. at yung sinabi ni chanyeol made his heart clench even more. made his heart ache even more. at dahil b for baekhyun really stands for bobo, he was hopeful.

 

hinawi muna ni chanyeol ang buhok neto at hinalikan sa noo bago sabihin ang mga katagang, “my day was very shitty. fought with my dad again. but i’m glad i have you here with me now, babe.” 

 

 

 

~

 

 

 


	2. rupok part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 2\. kung saan laging tama si kyungsoo do

 

 

~

 

"di ka lang pala pushover when it comes to love. pati rin pala sa schoolwork." narinig ni baekhyun kahit nakaearphones siya. pinindot nya ang pause sa tumutugtog nyang kanta sa kanyang phone, pagkatapos ay tumingala at nakita nya ang kanyang matalik na kaibigan na si kyungsoo do. ngumiwi siya ng kaunti at nginuso nya ang upuan katapat nya, na inupuan naman agad ni kyungsoo. nilapag niya ang kanyang bag sa may lamesa at nilabas ang laptop nya at walang ano ano ay binuksan ito. 

 

ilang minuto ang lumipas at isang nakakabinging katahimikan. yung huling sinabi ni kyungsoo ay nakasuspend sa ere, tila ba kailangan ng sagot mula sa  binata. ramdam ni baekhyun ang mga mata ni kyungsoo sa kanya. bumuntong-hininga siya habang minamasahe ang sentido nya at bumalik sa binabasa nya. wala rin naman siyang mapapala kung ipagtatanggol nya ang sarili nya. especially if kyungsoo do is glaring at him.

 

nasa library sila ngayon. may two-hour break siya bago ang isa pang subject pagkatapos ay uwian na. while kyungsoo, well he called kyungsoo kasi he was alone. malapit lang naman ang dorm nila sa campus. then kyungsoo, being the best friend he is, agreed to meet with him. hindi dahil hinihintay nya yung boyfriend, no not at all.

 

"i called you here kasi wala akong kasama not to scold me again." baekhyun finally said. he's had enough of his best friend's scolding and glaring honestly? he had a shitty day arguing with one of his groupmates na nagpush sa kanya na sa library na lang gawin yung part nya, and kyungsoo being here and nagging him too makes him all the more frustrated.

 

hindi niya kasalanan na yung groupmates nya ay freeloader okay. at hindi niya kasalanan he was a pushover. or maybe he really wasn't. gusto lang nyang grumaduate. so tanga na kung tanga, as he was called, at least he tried his best para isalba ang remaining year nya diba.

 

kyungsoo glared some more pero nagkibit-balikat din seconds after. alam nyang he has a best friend privilege. that much is true. marami pa sana siyang gustong sabihin. because he's the only one that can knock some sense kay baekhyun pero alam din niya kung kailan titigil. and this time, judging by the frown in his best friend's face, hindi lang dahil pissed off siya sa members nya. he is upset. and it is because of something more. mas pinili niyang wag magsalita. sinara na niya ang laptop nya at kinuha rin niya yung libro nya - scribbling notes to pass time. dahil alam nya when baekhyun has calmed down, magkekwento rin yan.

 

and soon fifteen minutes have passed. cue, _the baekhyun chatter box._

 

"i was with him last night." panimula ni baekhyun. tumingin si kyungsoo, and isscold sana kasi oo ang gago talaga ni baekhyun. but then he saw the look in baekhyun's eyes. malungkot.

 

bumuntong-hininga si kyungsoo. "i know." sabi lang nya. "di ka naman nagoovernight with your groupmates dahil wala naman kayong natatapos."

 

tumawa si baekhyun bitterly. "actually they were the reason i was with him last night." 

 

kyungsoo liked to laugh but stopped himself. "of course."

 

and cue baekhyun whining. "soo what am i gonna do?"

 

nagtaas ng kilay si kyungsoo. "sabihin mo kasi na mahal mo siya." he said obviously and like it's the easiest thing in the world. 

 

"that's not easy." baekhyun said in a small voice.

 

"at bakit?" paghahamon na tanong ni kyungsoo.

 

tumingin muna si baekhyun sa paligid nya before continuing, "kasi i don't know if he loves me back. at hindi ko iririsk yung meron kami ngayon dahil gusto ko sa akin lang siya. i'm content with the way it is right now." 

 

kyungsoo glared at him. "pero nasasaktan ka."

 

baekhyun made a small noise. "that's besides the point."

 

“bobo.” kyungsoo mumbles without a bite.

 

baekhyun chuckled. “that is true.”

 

kyungsoo made a small noise pagkatapos ay humigop sa kape na binili niya at mariin ulit na tumingin kay baekhyun. 

 

“so...... you went to his condo ulit kahapon? and ano he fucked you again?” kyungsoo asked. completely doesn't care kung may makarinig na iba. walang preno ang bibig. ang bastos, naisip ni baekhyun.

 

baekhyun was alarmed trying to keep his best friend's tone down. "yes." he whispered. medyo nagflush siya kasi may nakarinig sa kanilang babae, tumingin sa direksyon nila umiling then hurriedly went back to her readings. awkward.

 

"akala ko thesis ginagawa mo yun pala _tite._ " sabi ni kyungsoo ulit.

 

baekhyun was flabbergasted. "i hate you kyungsoo do." 

 

"incorrect. you love me kasi ako na lang nakakatolerate ng katangahan mo. jongdae gave up months ago." 

 

"jongdae is different!" baekhyun whines. and kyungsoo smiles.

 

maybe kyungsoo really revels in seeing baekhyun in misery, pero dahil lang yun sa matalik na kaibigan nya ito. but he cares so much for baekhyun's well-being. that is the truth. 

 

baekhyun loves too much. alam na alam yan ni kyungsoo. maraming beses na nyang nakitang nasaktan si baekhyun, maraming beses na rin nyang nakitang nagpakagago si baekhyun. but this time? ano pa nga bang bago diba? pero alam ni kyungsoo na iba si chanyeol. alam ni kyungsoo na chanyeol is so much more para kay baekhyun. sa hindi inaasahan at hindi maipaliwanag na pagkakataon. and kyungsoo really hopes chanyeol feels the same way. na naduduwag lang siya. na hindi pa lang siya ready. kung hindi, god knows what he will do sa binata. maybe he'll chop off his dick. but that would be too mean and baka hindi na siya kausapin ulit ni baekhyun. _yikes._

 

~

 

"babe, did you sleep on me now?" tanong ni chanyeol kay baekhyun. nasa cuddle position na naman sila, with chanyeol being the big spoon kasi ang laki niya, in every way, yes. and baekhyun was still catching his breath. he just had a mind-blowing orgasm, so can chanyeol let him live at please wag maingay.

 

"n-no." sabi ni baekhyun. he was still short on breath and the taller had the audacity to laugh. ang gago naman. everything in chanyeol is big. pati ego nya sobrang laki.

 

"you know. napapadalas punta mo sa unit ko ha? are you trying to run away from studies again?" concerned na tanong ni chanyeol. baekhyun stiffened under chanyeol's curious and concerned gaze. ang overwhelming minsan na alam ni chanyeol lahat kahit hindi niya sinabi. 

 

yes, he is running away again from everything. from pressure ng parents nya to achieve at least cum (heh) laude man lang sana. from the stress na dulot ng professors nya and orgmates nya. and from the pain ng unrequited love nya. and it's quite ironic na he found comfort kay chanyeol. when after all, it's his biggest dilemma and number one cause of stress nya. 

 

_but chanyeol is chanyeol._

 

his yeol. 

 

his comfort at the end of the tiring day. 

 

it's fucking miserable he found home in chanyeol. when chanyeol is literally homeless himself.

 

so imbis na ungkatin ang deep feelings niya, at wala siya sa mood mag-salita after a mind blowing orgasm na still had him shaking at the very tip of his toes, hinalikan na lang nya ang panga ni chanyeol, then softly said "not true. may time lang talaga ako ngayon."

 

then chanyeol being chanyeol. hindi na lang siya nagtanong and he let baekhyun cling to him. kasi he already knows. hindi na nya kailangan pang itanong and hindi na rin kailangang i-spell out pa ni baekhyun. 

at nakatulog silang magkayakap. and baekhyun wonders as he closes his eyes kung bakit ang tanga niya for one person.

 

~

 

baekhyun's alarm woke him up at 5 am. inikot nya muna mga mata nya and nakita nya he's not in his own room, familiar yung surroundings pero wala siya sa kwarto niya. medyo blurry pa yung paningin nya at may instant panic siyang naramdaman, until he felt a hand that's on his waist tightened and he found himself safely cushioned sa dibdib ni chanyeol.

 

ah, nakalimutan nya.

 

nakatulog pala siya kagabi tapos hindi na nakauwi sa bahay nila kasi hindi na siya pinayagan ni chanyeol. "dito ka na matulog please" with matching pout. so dahil si baekhyun ay hindi immuned sa charms ni chanyeol, wala siyang nagawa kundi isubsob ang mukha nya sa dibdib neto. and he actually had a good night sleep. away from stress. away from everything.

 

"hyun ang ingay ng alarm clock mo." sabi ni chanyeol, sobrang lalim ng boses nya pag bagong gising. nagsitaasan lahat ng kayang tumaas kay baekhyun ( ~~read: mga balahibo nya sa katawan~~ )

 

"sorry." sabi ni baekhyun, medyo umurong siya ng kaunti para makita si chanyeol. hinawi nya yung buhok na nalalaglag na sa mata nito. 

 

"anong oras na?" tanong ng binata.

 

kinuha ni baekhyun ang cellphone nya sa bedside table ni chanyeol, "5 am."

 

chanyeol groaned. "hyun, really? ang aga naunahan mo pa yung manok (wala namang manok sa condo, nagpapatawa ba si chanyeol)." sabi niya, na medyo slurred na dahil hinhila na naman siya ng antok.

 

tumawa si baekhyun at bumangon sa pagkakahiga. "tulog pa." he coaxed softly, na mabilisan namang sinunod ni chanyeol. "kailangan ko pang tapusin yung part ko sa thesis." sabi niya na bababa na ng kama para kunin ang laptop na chinarge nya sa may lamesa. but chanyeol stopped him. niyakap ulit ang bewang neto at pinapabalik sa pagkakahiga.

 

"tulog pa tayo." may emphasis sa tayo. and baekhyun wanted to say, walang tayo, yeol. kasi ayaw mo. hindi pwede. ang drama.

 

baekhyun chuckled shortly. "di pwede, yeol."

 

chanyeol made a small noise. and whined. "hyun~"

 

"no."

 

"please?" chanyeol pouts some more.

 

"di pwede."

 

"kailangan ko ng ka-cuddle." 

 

tangina ang cute. malapit nang bumigay si baekhyun.

 

"babalik din ako maya promise."

 

"5 minutes please, hyun?" chanyeol asked again with fluttering his eyelashes. at dahil, to reiterate, hindi immuned si baekhyun sa charms ni chanyeol. baekhyun easily complied. bumalik ulit sa dibdib ni yeol, sinaklob ang kumot sa kanilang dalawa at pumikit ulit.

 

grabe parang mag-jowa. pero hindi.

 

siguro kung nakikita ni kyungsoo at jongdae ang kagaguhan ni baekhyun, nagfist-bump na ang dalawa with matching "i told you so" stares. baekhyun rolled his eyes sa imagination nya. dahil his friends would really do it. at ang annoying kasi once again they're right.

 

~

 

nagising si baekhyun pagkatapos ng apat oras na mag-isa lang sa kama. kinuha nya ang cellphone nya sa drawer katabi ng kama ni chanyeol. tiningnan ang oras. 9:17 at iginala ang mata sa paligid. hindi niya makita ang binata sa apat na sulok ng condo unit neto, pero naririnig nya ang lagaslas ng tubig.

 

sabado ngayon at isa lang ang subject nya na sa hapon pa so hindi pa siya bumabangon sa pagkakahiga nya at bagkus ay binuksan ang cellphone nya at nakita ang tatlong missed calls galing kay kyungsoo, at isa galing kay jongdae. may mga messages din sa kakao talk nya, sa gc ng thesismates nya, at isa galing sa mama nya. 

 

baekhyun made a small sound. after a night without worries. after sleeping without worries, correction. nandito na naman siya sa real world. para bang yung more than eight hours nya na peaceful sleeping sa dibdib ng ehem, someone, is really a faraway dream. para bang far-fetched ito though nangyari naman talaga.

 

ngayon, hinahatak siya ng universe sa real life. and stress. sa exam nya in 6 hours. 

 

bumuntong-hininga siya at tumingin sa pintuan ng banyo. mukhang matagal pa si chanyeol sa loob. kaya binuksan nya isa-isa ang messages galing kay kyungsoo.

 

>  
> 
> 7:20 pm
> 
> soo: baek, san ka?

>  
> 
> 7:45 pm
> 
> soo: jongdae is here. may dala siyang pasalubong for you.
> 
>  
> 
> 8:20 pm
> 
> soo: are u going back sa condo or diyan ka na lang kay chanyeol?
> 
>  
> 
> 8:45 pm
> 
> soo: hay nako baekhyun byun ka talaga. 
> 
>  
> 
> 9:15 pm
> 
> soo: u staying the night? ingat ka, baek.

baekhyun frowned slightly upon reading. then pouted sa screen kasi hindi niya deserve si kyungsoo. kyungsoo is too good to be his friend. frank but well-intentioned and understanding. at sweet din si kyungsoo. this is a proof na baekhyun was spoiled by his friend. dahil kung si jongdae yan. and speaking, he read his messages.

 

>  
> 
> 8:10 pm
> 
> dae: wru i'm here in ur unit. i have some kimchi made by mom<3
> 
>  
> 
> 8:11 pm
> 
> dae: baekhyun byun don't tell me ur getting fucked again
> 
>  
> 
> 8:15 pm
> 
> dae: omg kadire. i hope ur safe. and umuwi ka naman minsan. u have friends din. TT
> 
>  
> 
> 9:20 pm
> 
> dae: i went home na. kyungsoo said na baka ull stay overnight ulit kila chanyeol lmao. ur kimchi is inside the ref. wouldn't guarantee kyungsoo and jongin won't devour it.
> 
>  
> 
> 10:20 pm
> 
> dae: baekhyun answer my texts. hope ur both practicing safe sex! kahit ayaw ko talaga kay chanyeol. <3

baekhyun smiled sa series ng texts. of course, jongdae is just like that. at sa hindi maipaliwanag na mga bagay, ayaw ni jongdae kay chanyeol. and medyo ayaw din ni chanyeol kay jongdae. kung bakit, wala ring may alam. all baekhyun knows is may namumuong tension lagi sa pagitan ni jongdae at chanyeol sa twice nilang pagkikita. sinubukan na nyang tanungin both sides pero ang sabi lang sa kanya "tanungin mo siya" and that is the cue for baekhyun to stop. and just let it be. as long as hindi sila magsasaksakan sa harapan nya, he's fine. 

 

baekhyun is completely aware there are relationships na hindi nagwoworkout, he knows it. mapa-friendship man yan or romantic relationship. like what he's experiencing. ang hassle nga talagang mainlove. 

 

huminga siya ng malalim at binato na ang cellphone nya kung saan. bumangon na siya at nagsimulang tiklupin ang mga kumot, nang may biglang humawak sa bewang nya at sumigaw sa tenga nya. "hyun"

 

"ay puta ka." sabi niya habang hawak-hawak ang dibdib nya. tumingin siya ng masama kay chanyeol ng 5 seconds at naglakbay ang mga mata nya sa buong katawan neto. basa pa ang buhok na tinutuyo nya gamit ang bimpo. topless ito at may butil-butil pa ng tubig sa may dibdib. at maliit na twalya lang ang nakatapis sa may bewang neto. sinundan ni chanyeol ang mga titig ni baekhyun at nang magkatitigan na sila, may smirk na naglalaro sa mga labi neto.

 

chanyeol raised his eyebrows suggestively to which baekhyun stared in mock disgust. "like what you see hyun?" tanong nya pa arrogantly.

 

baekhyun snorted. and binato nya ng unan sakto sa mukha nya at tumakbo sa bathroom. tumawa lang si chanyeol at napailing. hyun can really be childish but that's what makes him adorable in chanyeol's eyes.

 

nagshashampoo si baekhyun nang may kumatok sa pintuan ng cr. hininaan nya ang shower to the sound of the knocking. and he could hear chanyeol speaking sa other side. "hyun may mag damit ka sa kama ha. i'll go out for awhile to buy breakfast for us. wag kang mawawala ha, babe." chanyeol chuckled sa last line nya and baekhyun silently cursed kasi nalagyan nya ng shampoo yung kaliwang mata nya. at dahil na rin sa mga linyahan ni chanyeol. but of course hindi na kailangan malaman ni chanyeol yun.

"you okay there?" chanyeol asked after baekhyun cursed some more. 

 

"y-yeah! nahilam ako!" he shouted, and di rin niya alam why he shouted.

 

chanyeol whistled lowly. "okay i'll go outside for 15 minutes! don't run away ha i'll buy you breakfast." chanyeol said this kasi baekhyun has a habit of running away. _literally and figuratively._

 

and maybe, baekhyun won't admit, but maybe - just maybe kyungsoo was right all along. na kailangan na nyang umamin ng feelings niya. kasi in the end naman, siya rin ang talo. maybe he has to stop running. he has to stop chasing. maybe somewhere in the middle, magmeet sila ni chanyeol. 

 

but anxiety won't let him. his insecurities won't let him.

 

kasi what if naghahabulan lang sila? hinahabol siya ni baekhyun pagkatapos si chanyeol ay tumatakbo palayo?

 

_what if.........._

 

~


	3. rupok part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 3\. kung saan mommy byun knows best

~

 

"baekhyun byun. kumalma ka nga." sabi ni kyungsoo sa sofa kung saan siya nakaupo. medyo irita na siya sa kakapaikot-ikot ng kanyang roommate at bestfriend sa sala ng kanilang dorm. nadidistract siya neto sa panonood nya ng tv. 

 

"soo." tumigil siya sa tabi ni kyungsoo, hindi sa harap dahil baka batuhin siya ng kung ano neto at nagwhine sa kaibigan. "kausapin mo muna ko please. do anything na makakapagpawala ng nerves ko." pagmamakaawa pa nya.

 

huminga ng malalim si kyungsoo, pumikit sandali at dumilat ulit. "so..... first of all pakisabi kay tita happy birthday." 

 

baekhyun groaned and nagpapadyak ng kaunti. yes may tantrums siya okay and kyungsoo just stared at him deadpanned. di na umuubra mga paandar ni baekhyun kay kyungsoo kaya nagpout pa ito, you know for extra cute effect, which for reiteration - hindi na talaga tumatalab kay kyungsoo. "thanks, soo. pero hindi yan yung gusto kong sagot. i mean what do i do now?" 

 

kyungsoo clicked his tongue and paused his show muna. naaawa na rin naman siya sa best friend nya. "then you'll go with chanyeol. tsk. buti pa nga si chanyeol invited." he emphasized the word invited. 

 

baekhyun glared then kyungsoo chuckled. "i'm just kidding, baek. but really tell tita happy birthday and sorry na hindi ako makakapunta ngayon. alam mo ang dami kong exams right? and as for chanyeol. he's invited anong magagawa mo? and he easily said yes right? you'll go together right?" 

 

baekhyun inhaled deeply and exhaled shakily. "yun nga. nung kinausap siya ni mommy. nako parang angel. akala nya he didn't just finish fucking me- oop sorry tmi. anyways, he easily said yes sa phone din? and my mom.... mind you, ang saya niya feeling ko kahit di ako magappear basta nandun si yeol she'll be really elated." 

 

kyungsoo chuckled. because mommy byun is really like that. nung nagsabog ng pagkacool, sinalo lahat ni mommy byun, or mommy b as kyungsoo likes to call her. mommy b is the mother kyungsoo dreams. ever since magcome out of the closet si baekhyun, mommy b has always been supportive. sabi nya nga during one of their hangouts na takot si baekhyun aminin sa kanila, pero sadyang malakas ang gay radar ni mommy b. mas nauna pa nyang nalaman na her son is a homo, sa dami ba naman nyang pinakilala na anak ng mga kachurchmate nya, never did baekhyun show an interest. siguro as platonic, yes. but romantic feelings? her son's heart is too gay para mag-fake ng interes. and of course, mommy b bilang cool na ina sa dalawa nyang anak understood quickly. and siya pa ngayon nagrereto kay baekhyun sa mga hunk, as what she likes to call it, very early 2000s ang term, to which baekhyun just rolled his eyes. and kyungsoo internally thinks na kung alam lang talaga ni mommy b kung _anong ginagawa_ ng anak nya, at _kung sino_ pala. 

 

kaya nito lang, nung nalaman ni mommy b na busy si baekhyun doing thesis, and other things, she started taking actions. of course nasagap nya lahat hindi kay kyungsoo kasi kyungsoo maybe a bitch sometimes but he’s not a snitch. mommy b got all the info from the snitch himself, proud siya dito yes, jongdae kim. pagkatapos malaman ni mommy b lahat, she started nagging baekhyun even more – kung yung dating 3 calls sa one month ay sapat na – naging 3 calls per week. and kyungsoo secretly finds it entertaining kasi nga he likes to see baekhyun suffering, tuwang-tuwa siya pag namumula ang buong mukha ni baekhyun lalo na ang mga tenga neto sa inis.

 

pero may mga times nga na naiinis siya kasi ang baboy talaga ni baekhyun and we quote “tumawag si mommy one time while i was sucking chanyeol’s dick and of course being a dick he is, sinagot nya! i bit his dick after.” unquote, kung saan medyo nandiri si kyungsoo sa dami ng gamit ng dick in a sentence pero ano pa nga bang aasahan nya sa kaibigan nya diba. kyungsoo could only pray na chanyeol’s dick (another one) was okay right after that. 

 

kyungsoo stared at his best friend who is helpless, bumuntong-hininga siya then helpfully supplies, "hey baekhyun it's gonna be alright. gustong mameet ni chanyeol yung pamilya mo right, he said yes right?" 

 

baekhyun made a small noise of protest, "yun nga eh. pero anong sasabihin ko? na "hey mom, dad, kuya, this is chanyeol, my fuck buddy?" wala nga kaming label eh! paano ko siya ipapakilala?" he whined again.

 

kyungsoo snorted, "then tell them he's your friend."

 

baekhyun glared. "okay ka lang? as if my mom, of all people, would believe it."

 

"then tell them he's your fuck buddy."

 

"my dad would punch him."

 

"you think your dad doesn't know you're not a virgin anymore?" kyungsoo spluttered. "arte ha" may kasamang pa-roll eyes pa.

 

binato ni baekhyun si kyungsoo ng unan, "come on help me"

 

bumuntong-hininga ulit si kyungsoo (he lost count on how many already), mahirap paliwanagan si baekhyun pag nasa state na siya ng panic. and he's convinced na siya lang ang nakakapagpakalma dito, after teasing him endless too syempre. malapit na rin siya mainis kay chanyeol dahil siya talaga ang dahilan ng lahat na to. k _ung alam lang nya talaga, naku_. 

 

"pwede mo ring sabihin na he's a friend who is more than a friend you know. alam ko maiintindihan na yun nila tita. after all tita got the juice kay jongdae, who knows what jongdae told her."

 

"i'm gonna kill him."

 

"you should."

 

then silence ensued.

  

usually pag ganito katahimik, kyungsoo worries. kasi si baekhyun yung tipo ng tao na madalas magoverthink, madalas nasa ibang dimensyon ang isip. at nang tumingin nga siya sa direksyon ni baekhyun, hindi siya nagkamali, nakita nyang bakas sa mukha nito ang pagkataranta, ang pagkabalisa, at may kalungkutan.

 

tumayo si kyungsoo sa pagkakaupo sa couch, “mahal mo?” tanong ni kyungsoo sa kaibigan niyang nakahandusay sa sahig.

 

“oo.” mahinang sagot ni baekhyun. 

 

“mahal ka?” sunod namang tanong ni kyungsoo. humiga siya katabi ng kaibigan at pinilit na tumingin sa direksyon nya ang binata.

 

“oo. ata. baka.” mas mahinang sagot ni baekhyun sabay patong ng braso niya sa mga mata niya. 

 

“eh bakit nga kasi hindi kayo?”

at katahimikan na lamang ang sumagot sa huling tanong ng lalaking semi-kalbo ang buhok.

 

pumasok si baekhyun sa gate ng bahay nila with chanyeol trailing behind him. dala dala ang cake at prutas na binili nila, dali dali niyang sinundan si baekhyun, sumalubong sa kanila ang corgi na alaga ng pamilya nya, kumahol at tumatalon na nanghihingi ng atensyon sa binata. biglang nagcrouch si baekhyun at hinawakan ang tenga ng aso, pagkatapos ay hinaplos-haplos. 

 

“his name is sarsi, named after my favorite drink nung bata ako," sabi ni baekhyun na nakatalikod pa rin kay chanyeol. naramdaman na lang nya na tumabi na at nakacrouch na rin at pinapanood si sarsi na gusto gusto yung belly rubs ni baekhyun. 

 

then chanyeol chuckled, "sarsi huh"

 

"shut up." ang sabi ni baekhyun, at biglang nahiya sa intense stare na binibigay ni chanyeol habang nakahaplos pa rin kay sarsi. at parang binuhusan ng malamig na tubig, biglang bumukas ang front door ng bahay nila baekhyun, at nakatambad, in all her glory, si mommy b, as what kyungsoo calls her.

 

"baekkie!!!!!" isang mataas na shrill coming from the petite woman ang bumungad, which chanyeol admits, medyo scary. then nakita na lang nya nakasubsob si baekhyun sa dibdib neto at pinupugpog ng halik ang bunbunan. "ang tagal mo rin hindi umuwi, ano ka ba!!!' sabi pa ni mommy b habang pinisil pisil ang pisngi ni baekhyun. 

 

baekhyun's mom is cute, chanyeol will give it that. sa kanya yata nagmana ng kacutean si baekhyun, no? pero aaminin nyang medyo intimidating to sa pagiging protective and pagbebaby pa lang nya kay baekhyun. 

 

then napaisip agad siya. oh god, will he make it out alive kaya? tama ba yung desisyon na sumama sa family gathering/birthday lang naman ng pinakaimportanteng tao sa buhay ng fuck buddy nya? gusto nyang iumpog sarili nya. wala silang label ni baekhyun. maniniwala ba yung family nilang strictly fubu sila? may fubu ba na pumupunta sa family gathering ng isa? and may fubu ba na willingly and with no problem na pumayag na sumama sa okasyon na to?

 

sino bang nagsabing magandang desisyon ito? sobrang cocky nya pa when baekhyun asked him. sobrang sure of himself pa siya nung medyo may mental breakdown si baekhyun papunta rito. siya pa tong mayabang na hinawakan ang thighs neto habang nagdadrive siya, may parelax relax babe pa siya kanina. ngayon, there's no backing out. and chanyeol, for the first time, is scared out of his mind. lumingon-lingon siya sa paligid, habang preoccupied pa ang dalawa. the whole time that mommy b is chastising her son, may escape plan na sa utak ni chanyeol. 

 

makakaalis kaya siya? pano pag tumalon siya sa bakod nila? kaya naman kasi matangkad siya. sabihin nya kaya may nakalimutan siya sa kotse nya, and get out of here? 

 

pero mukhang hindi ayon sa kanya ang tadhana, and ang gay patron kasi nakatingin na sa kanya si mommy b (how long was he out thinking of escape plan, honestly?) and baekhyun, with mirth in his eyes - para bang sinasabi na, ano ka ngayon? - asshole. mommy b is looking at him, from head to toe, and then stared intensely sa mata nya, feeling tuloy ni chanyeol hubad siya, then he grew more intimidated, and being the panicked gay he is, stuttered out a reply. "h-hi po. happy birthday po." and he heard baekhyun snort. yari si baekhyun mamaya sa kanya, he reminds himself.

 

mommy b, chanyeol found out baekhyun inherited his traits straight from her, rolled her eyes, at hinila siya sa mahigpit na yakap. yakap ng isang ina na matagal na nyang hindi nararamdaman. 

 

"chanyeol. we meet finally. ang dami kong gustong itanong," she looked at baekhyun, na nagcower ng very slight under his mother's stare and implication na yes, ang dami talaga nilang pag-uusapan. mommy b proceeded in ruffling chanyeol's hair and smiled sweetly at him, honestly, his heart is warm. kinuha ang cake na dala dala nila.

 

"thank you hijo. oh siya. let's go inside. make yourself feel at home, chanyeol." 

 

~

chanyeol found out that hindi lang si baekhyun ang maingay sa pamilya byun, in fact, he's the quietest. the whole time they were eating dinner, he's silent, exchanging nervous glances sa kanya. nahihiya ba siya? or awkward lang kasi nga naman may lalaki siyang uwi? ano nga bang ginagawa talaga ni chanyeol exactly sa byun family? and sa birthday pa ng mommy ni baekhyun.

 

baekhyun was yet to introduce chanyeol to his family. hindi rin siya nagkaroon ng chance dahil the moment they entered, his family was already all over the tall boy. ni hindi man lang binigyan ng second glance si baekhyun. chanyeol felt a little bad. a little okay. because he has to admit, he likes the attention he's getting. bihira siya makakuha ng attention sa family. no scratch that, he never has this attention and affection sa family nila. care to elaborate? wag na muna siguro.

 

baekhyun's brother, baekbeom was the first one to speak "eto ba yung pinagkakabusyhan mo ha? baekkie?" he asked in a teasing manner to which hindi naman natago ng binata ang pagkablush sa pisngi nya, sa tenga, at sa leeg nya - chanyeol found it cute.

hinila rin ni mommy b si chanyeol sa kusina para makausap ng masinsinan, yata? or hindi nya alam? basta he followed, leaving baekhyun sa grasp ni baekbeom and ni papa byun.

 

"nakwento ni baekhyun na marunong ka raw magluto. sabi niya you cook for him." mommy b started, hinahalo ang pinakuluan na nyang pata.

 

chanyeol stood awkwardly sa kitchen ng bahay ng byun and scratched his head, "minsan po." he admitted quietly.

 

mommy b chuckled and wrinkled her eyes sa kanya, "cmon, hijo. no need to be shy sakin." she said, winking. "someone told me everything." may emphasize yung someone. and may hunch din si chanyeol kung sino yung someone na yun at ano yung everything na yun, so he gulped.

 

"you know how to cook kare-kare?" tanong pa ni mommy b habang hinihiwa ang mga gulay na pangsahog. chanyeol busied himself din at kinuha ang iba pang ingredients.

 

"yes po," he said habang hinuhugasan ang pechay. "nilutuan ko si hyun dati nun." he said casually then he proceeded in cutting the vegetable.

 

tumingin siya nung naramdaman nya na tahimik si mommy b, and that's the worse move yata? kasi he saw baekhyun's mother's eyes twinkled and she's smiling sa kanya. na parang may ibig sabihin,

 

"talaga?" she said laughing sweetly and medyo suprised, " _hyun_?" she asked curiously.

 

chanyeol froze ng mga 5 seconds, kasi shit, he said it. yung nickname niya kay baekhyun. yung nickname na siya lang gumagamit, and nickname na gustung-gustong marinig ni baekhyun sa kama. he stared, panicked, sa may bandang living room to which rinig pa rin ang tawanan ng mga lalaking byuns and pray to god almighty, na pumasok na si baekhyun and save him from his mother.

 

so chanyeol did what he does best, laugh in awkward situations. but mommy b paid her no mind, kasi naman iba pala yung shocking sa kanya. she then proceeded, "hindi kumakain ng kare-kare si baekkie kasi he hates bagoong. napakain mo siya?" she asked, na para bang sobrang amazed nya kay chanyeol. para bang chanyeol is the divine intervention. para bang siya na yung holy spirit. siya pa yung amen.

 

now it was chanyeol's turn to be surprised, "talaga po? when i cooked for him sabi lang nya okay lang. even asked him kung may allergy siya sa bagoong, sabi nya wala and kinain naman nya. simot pa nga." he said, with a smile. recalling yung first and last time na nilutuan nya si baekhyun ng kare-kare. pinanood lang nya kung pano kumain si baekhyun. and at that time, parang nagwarm yung puso nya kasi ang sarap kumain ni baekhyun, literal na ang sarap kumain ng pagkain.

 

mommy b just laughed and shook her head. "wow he must be really whipped kung kakainin nya yung hindi niya kinakain." then she laughed sa choice of words niya. baboy din minsan mommy b ha.

 

"oh siya. help me with this. and i'll tell him tinulungan mo kong magluto para kumain siya." she winked, to which chanyeol relaxed and laughed with her. "your birthday gift sa akin.' she added.

 

~

 

sa hapagkainan, chanyeol learned much more sa binata beside him. he learned na though he knows baekhyun for his smart mouth, siya ang pinakatahimik sa pamilya. they were having dinner together na and the dishes laid were cooked by mommy b proudly. merong kare-kare (courtesy of chanyeol yung paghalo at paghiwa ng gulay), sinigang na baboy (sinabi raw ni baekhyun na paborito ni chanyeol yun, medyo nagblush si chanyeol nung nalaman nya) at inihaw na baboy (na favorite naman ni baekbeom) sa hapag nila. 

 

maraming kwento ang pamilya byun. masaya ang kainan, masayang kasama ang pamilya ni baekhyun. chanyeol smiles though may inggit sa puso nya. he longs for his family to have a dinner like this. he longs for his family to accept who he is. 

and he just longs for his family. 

 

tumikhim si daddy byun na kinaseryoso naman agad ng lahat. tumingin sandali sa lahat at tumitig kay chanyeol. siniko nang bahagya ni baekhyun si chanyeol na tila tulala pa rin, medyo malayo ang isip. biglang napailing sandali si chanyeol na para bang natauhan then tumingin kay baekhyun na sinenyas naman si daddy byun na nakatingin sa kanila. napalunok si chanyeol and tumingin kay baekhyun, si baekhyun naman ay nag-shrug pero may panic sa mga mata.

 

"so." panimula ni mommy b.

 

"s-so?" baekhyun stuttered.

 

baekbeom snorted na nagpaless awkward sa atmosphere. "sino raw yan b!" ang walang prenong

 

tanong ni baekbeom na nginuso pa si chanyeol.

 

chanyeol was still silent, not knowing what to say. kasi nga sino nga ba siya in baekhyun's life diba?

 

"ah? si chanyeol?" tangang sagot ni baekhyun.  baekbeom rolled his eyes and mommy byun tsked.

 

"sino si chanyeol hijo?" she said nang medyo soft pero implying something pa rin.

 

"errr.r...." baekhyun said, pulang pula ang tenga. "he's my-"

 

"friend po." chanyeol helpfully supplied. baekhyun had his mouth wide open, hindi nya masara kasi may gusto siyang sabihin. tumingin siya kay chanyeol sandali and chanyeol just shrugged. na para bang wala. kasi ayun naman yung totoo. ouch.

mommy b raised her eyebrow sa kanilang dalawa and sighed, na para bang medyo disappointed. "sure." then proceeded in eating yung kare-kare nya.

 

si daddy byun, being the one who can't read an atmosphere (sometimes, read: sometimes lang naman) chuckled. "oh you're friends din ba with kyungsoo at jongdae?" he continued with his interrogation.

 

chanyeol felt all eyes were on him, except baekhyun's. so tumingin muna siya sa binata na para bang mas interesado sa sinigang na baboy kaysa sa nangyayaring conversation sa harapan niya. 

 

chanyeol finished chewing first tapos, "magkaiba po kaming school, tito."

 

"oh you are not from UP? saan kayo nagkakilala ni baekhyun?" baekbeom asked, this is getting interesting.

 

chanyeol drank his water, before answering. medyo pinagpapawisan na rin siya kasi ano ba namang mga tanong ito diba. pero eto yung mga tanong safe sagutin. pero paano ba niya sasabihin na nagkakilala sila ni baekhyun sa bar? nung mga panahong heartbroken si baekhyun at siya naman ay miserable sa buhay at pareho silang nangangailangan ng quick fuck?

 

tumingin muna si chanyeol kay baekhyun na hindi pa rin umiimik at patuloy lang sa pagkain. may mali ba sa mga nasabi niya? pero mamaya na nya iisipin yun, kailangan nya munang sagutin ang mga matang nagtatanong sa harapan nya. mariin siyang pinag-aaralan ng tatay ni baekhyun. at sa hindi maipaliwanag na sitwasyon, may urge siyang i-woo ang pamilyang byun. hindi rin niya alam kung bakit, pero gusto nyang magustuhan siya ng pamilya ni baekhyun.

 

so, another lie. like the first time he answered.

 

"UAAP po." sabi niya.

 

it wasn't exactly a lie naman, to be fair. nagkakilala sila sa bar after ng UAAP, diba nga kahit magkaaway ang mga schools as they say, sa bandang huli sila rin naman ang magtitikiman, magkakapaan sa mga sulok-sulok.

 

baekbeom whistled. "so blue eagle ka ba? NU? tamaraw?" 

 

mommy byun chided him. "so anong course mo hijo?" she asked na medyo jolly na, mukhang nakarecover naman agad siya sa disappointment kani-kanina lang if chanyeol would really take note.

 

"legma po." sabi ni chanyeol quietly.

 

mommy byun widened her eyes, "really? akalain mo yun, baekkie is studying polisci. baekkie!!! may study sessions ba kayo?" she asked teasing na kinagulat naman ni baekhyun na focused talaga sa pagkain.

 

"huh?" baekhyun asked nung medyo may pregnant pause at hinihintay siyang magsalita.

 

baekbeom laughed again. napaka-cute talaga ng kapatid nya sometimes. "may study session daw ba kayo?" he asked.

 

baekhyun spluttered a what, na tiningnan naman siya ni chanyeol, pero hindi pa rin tumitingin si baekhyun sa kanya. "iba naman subjects namin." sabi lang ni baekhyun hoping na wala nang itanong pang iba yung pamilya nya. he's tired and incredibly lonely. hindi niya alam kung bakit pero parang ang layo ni chanyeol sa kanya. gusto na lang nyang humiga at wag nang ireplay ang mga nangyari. masakit pa rin pala talaga tuwing nagsisink-in sa kanya ang lahat. sa tuwing pinapamukha sa kanya na oo, hanggang friends lang talaga sila. 

 

pero yung sagot nya has opened more opportunity sa questions, "eh anong ginagawa nyo together?" this time it's daddy byun, pero unlike the two - mommy byun and baekbeom na alam naman na kung anong ginagawa nila sa free time nila - daddy byun was genuinely curious. never pang nag-uwi si baekhyun ng lalaki sa bahay nila, kahit na he had two failed relationships na. this is the first time na may inuwi si baekhyun bukod sa circle of friends nya that consisted of kyungsoo and jongdae lang naman, and daddy byun, while he still can't grasp everything, fully supports him at gusto nyang malaman at intindihin si baekhyun.

 

hindi rin naman tanga si daddy byun - he knows sa glances na hindi lang friend, as what chanyeol said kanina, si chanyeol sa anak nya. it was more than that. and kating-kati siyang malaman at makisabay sa mga millennials.

"uhhhh. scrabble?" baekbeom joked.

 

tumawa naman si mommy b at tumawa rin ng bahagya si chanyeol, then coughed para hindi awkward. si baekhyun? in his reverie pa rin.

 

"LOL player din po ako, so we play sometimes." sabi ni chanyeol.

 

that's the truth naman. kung hindi sila nagsesex ni baekhyun, naglalaro naman sila. masarap kasama (and sa kama LOL) si baekhyun and he could attest to that. hindi nga lang whole truth and nothing but the truth yung sinasabi nila, but still the truth.  may omissions nga lang.

 

daddy byun knitted his eyebrows ng very slight, "oh i see. same interests. same interests." he said, chuckling and may pag-iling. "mga kabataan nga naman." he added habang nakatingin sa anak nya na nabaling ulit ang atensyon sa mga dessert naman na nakalagay sa lamesa.

 

~

 

after the dinner, syempre may blowing of the candles pa, 53 na maliliit na candles to celebrate mommy byun's 53rd birthday, nasa living room na sila ng mga byun. isinalang ni daddy byun yung film na favorite panoorin ng angkan byun and chanyeol stifled his laughter kasi naman it’s four sissys and a wedding? baekhyun didn't tell him that. it was kinda cute, he had to admit.

 

baekhyun was still quiet sa tabi niya. at hindi nya alam kung bakit. all chanyeol knows is baekhyun had a sour looking face while nagkita na sila bobbie, teddie, gabby, at alex ulit. and mommy byun was intently staring at the screen, kabisado na ang movie script, still watching regardless. daddy byun is beside him, medyo antok na, as what he could observe. and baekbeom was busy on his phone. and chanyeol? well chanyeol was too busy staring at baekhyun and wondering kung bakit ayaw siyang kausapin ng binata. 

 

did he do something wrong?

 

hindi naman totally tanga si chanyeol. he could read a person, according to his past fuck buddies din. they condemned him for reading them. kasi once they wanted something MORE, chanyeol would ultimately cut the agreement off. chanyeol knew body language. alam na alam nya pag may gusto na ung tao sa kanya. hindi naman sa paasa siya, siguro he's kind of an asshole, and it shows. 

 

but he just does not want to get attached. kung bakit? he just doesn't want. simply. period. wala naman siyang traumatic past with someone. hindi naman siya niloko. if anything like the asshole he is, siya pa nga ang kinu-curse. sa dinami-dami ng lalaki at babae na natikman nya, all lasted siguro matagal na yung three months.

 

_but hyun?_

 

**_his hyun?_**   was different.

 

they were friends before they even started this. so yung emotional level is bongga din. baekhyun was more than just a fuck kay chanyeol. at alam nilang pareho yun. chanyeol also knows. but he's just a coward. coward na i-acknowledge yun. at coward na i-let go si hyun. 

 

siguro tingin nya hindi pa siya karapat-dapat dito. may times na oo, chanyeol wanted something more na rin. pero? he hesitates. kasi hindi pa nya kaya. may kulang pa. hindi pa siya buo.

 

but do they talk about it?

 

hindi.

 

kasi they're both idiots.

 

baekhyun, was too scared, na iwan siya once he confessed his feelings, as what happened sa previous hookups nya. tanggap naman ni bading na he gets attached easily. besides pang-ilan na ba nya si chanyeol diba? 

and chanyeol? was too proud naman to acknowledge yung feelings nya. because he has. he just doesn't want to. kung bakit? di rin niya alam. all he knows is, hindi pa ngayon. wag muna. hindi pa tama.

pero kelan yung tama?

 

what if ready na siya tapos ayaw na ni hyun? what if mali timing nya? what if nasa gitna na siyaready to meet hyun pero nasa dulo na ito?

 

puro what if.

 

kaya takot si chanyeol eh. kasi ayaw nya isipin ang future. takot siya dito.

 

hanggang kelan siya matatakot kaya?

~

 

"alis na po kami." chanyeol said sa labas ng gate ng mga byun. pinagbalot pa siya ng pagkain ni mommy byun. baekhyun was behind him, nagcecellphone. mommy byun insisted na magpahatid na si baekhyun kay chanyeol sa dorm nila kaysa lumuwas pa ng madaling-araw bukas. may pasok siya ng 8 a.m. at ayaw nyang ma-late si baekhyun, as a concerned (siyempre may ulterior motive din ito) mommy.

 

mommy byun pulled chanyeol into a hug while slowly rubbing his back. "drive safely, hijo. at i'll better see you again." she whispered.

 

chanyeol chuckled and nodded. kung may next time pa, tita. pero hindi niya sinabi yun. hindi naman dapat malaman.

pumunta na siya sa driver's seat at inayos ang sasakyan. naiwan si baekhyun sandali sa labas na kausap ang mommy niya. chanyeol smiled sa scene, ang pagpugpog ng halik sa ulo ni baekhyun at ang pag-ilag naman ni baekhyun. medyo mamula-mula sa halong inis at hiya. cute, chanyeol cooed internally.

 

nung pumasok na si baekhyun, nagtense ang atmosphere. at bago pa sila tuluyang umalis, mommy byun knocked sa bintana. chanyeol pulled it down, kasi he's polite din. pero dapat hindi na lang. he can always reason out na nagmamadali siya.

 

kasi may pahabol si mommy byun na lalong nagpatense ng lahat sa pagitan nila, "ayusin nyo yan ha. next time na balik nyo, dapat masaya na anak ko." she specifically directed ito kay chanyeol. and chanyeol visibly gulped while baekhyun whined and glared sa mommy nya. 

 

chanyeol should've taken it as a cue to leave, but he was frozen lalo na nung sabihin ni mommy b,

 

"trust me, anak. mothers know best." she said, winked kay chanyeol at tumawa sa anak nya.

 

then baekhyun, for the first time in almost an hour, talked to chanyeol, "i-drive mo na." he said tensely.

 

and chanyeol, being the sweet lover he is, na hinding-hindi nya aaminin, drove quickly.

 

may mga tanong na naka-hang sa ere, pero hindi magawang matanong ni chanyeol, so as the dumb person he is, at dahil hindi talaga siya marunong magphrase ng katanungan, asked the dumbest question:

 

"baekhyun, okay naman tayo diba?" he asked, staring ahead, kaya di niya nakikita ang pag-fidget ng mga kamay ni baekhyun.

 

baekhyun tensed up a bit, swallowed painfully muna. and then nodded. pero he realized chanyeol couldn't see him. so he cleared his throat first and mustered a soft, "oo naman."

 

and chanyeol, for the first time that day, breathed a sigh of relief.

 

yun lang naman gusto nya.

 

di bale nang he suffered nang medyo emotionally on his family that day.

 

kung okay naman sila at the end of the day, _he still wins_. lucky pa rin siya.

 

at least that's what he thinks.

 

 

 


	4. rupok part 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 4\. kung saan baekhyun stopped chasing

 

~

 

a week after nung birthday ni mommy byun, and 7 incessant calls in galing din sa kanya, which baekhyun, quite frankly was tired of answering, he declared himself as officially retired chanyeol chaser. last na to promise. and he swears this time he means it. 

siguro this is a coward move, but baekhyun hasn't talked to chanyeol ever since. yung talk na talk ha. kasi sure they're still texting para hindi naman obvious kung icucut off nya agad, but he was so close to ghosting the guy. medyo kawawa yung isa and gagong move from baekhyun but what do we know sa kanya aside being impulsive? at inuuna ang feelings person? magagalit ang taurus deity nya. but does he care pa ba?

 

gaynyways..... back to him ghosting yung fuck buddy nya. taray he doesn't want to mention yung name din. kasi he's moving on sa fuck buddy din niya. may moving on sa fuck buddy ha? only baekhyun. 

 

chanyeol texted him after dropping him sa dorm nila ni kyungsoo. they haven't talked much from batangas to qc, after yung deafening silence caused by "oo naman" niya na when asked kung okay sila na they both know galing sa ilong. typical baekhyun when he's mad or upset. 

 

chanyeol, fortunately, didn't pry. he just opened yung playlist nya, nagpatugtog. and baekhyun thanked the heavens kasi walang traffic. and he could close his eyes, pretend to nap ng mga 15 minutes, tapos metro manila na sila. thankfully din, chanyeol didn't bother. he's silent din. pero nakakatakot na kind of hot. kasi his jaw was slacked. and ung brows nya furrowed. typical chanyeol when he's thinking hard. yes, baekhyun could see this, because keyword: nagtutulug-tulugan lang si bading.

 

at dahil prideful din siya, and he's still a man with ego, pinanindigan nya ang pagtutulug-tulugan nya which resulted sa nakatulog nga talaga siya. ang plano is, he'll just fake it. hindi ito, na sobrang close ni chanyeol, na nasa passenger seat na rin sa labas. nakapark na sa dorm building nila. and softly calling his name with matching patapik sa braso. so, dahil napahiya siya kaunti, he took it as cue to leave. iniwan niya si chanyeol sa labas without saying thanks, kasi let's be honest, minsan asshole din siya. 

 

so he ran sa elevator agad, keyed in his floor number. tapos as soon as he was inside their dorm, (kyungsoo was out, so he's alone, solong-solo nya ang pag-eemote) tinanggal yung shoes and went to sit sa sofa. he was trying to calm his heart, kasi bigla siyang kinabahan. sobrang lapit nila. sure, mas may koclose pa sa mukha nila dati. damn, he even had chanyeol's dick sa mukha niya. not once, not twice, but many times. but that was entirely different. hindi naman nagflutter yung puso niya to the point na feeling nya lalabas na to. somehow, yung scenario kanina is when realization dawned upon him. pag narealize mo ung feelings mo sa tao, and you can't help but see him in the new light. and yes, matagal na naman niyang mahal si chanyeol, pero kanina, mas ramdam nya, at mas masakit sa kanya. that's why he panicked. and given na he's still coming down sa adrenaline rush nang pagtakbo at pagflutter ng puso all in one, he panicked din nung nagvibrate yung phone niya sa tabi ng sofa.

he immediately picked it up tapos his heart went frenzy na naman kasi naman it's from chanyeol and it just simply says,

 

>  
> 
> from yeol: thanks for today, hyun. your family is amazing.
> 
>  

he smiled nang kaunti, disregarding ung mga nangyari kanina that made him upset. and dahil he has a conscience naman, he replied, not exactly the truth. pero you get him.

 

>  
> 
> to yeol: thanks too! mom was super happy.

 

she really was. sa maraming dahilan baekhyun was too shy isa-isahin kay chanyeol.

 

>  
> 
> from yeol: really? haha thats great. i didnt get the chance to say kasi tumakbo ka kanina. we're good right?

 

baekhyun bit his bottom lip. tapos medyo napaisip. bakit ba kasi he let the words kanina affect him? and more than anything, bakit siya naapektuhan? this isn't how it's supposed to be, he reprimands himself nang paulit-ulit. but what does he want exactly ba? hindi rin niya alam, so he just typed another sugarcoated lie din, baekhyun was just hoping chanyeol wouldn't read too much sa situation. thankfully din, they're just texting.

>  
> 
>  
> 
> to: yeol: yes yeol. you asked kanina. we're good. sorry i ran away kasi najejebs na ko.

 

he really wanted to punch himself.

 

>  
> 
> from yeol: hahaha funny, hyun. tulog na tayo. good night, babe.

 

si chanyeol din, gusto nya suntukin. 

 

>  
> 
> to yeol: good night, yeol.

_pota._

 

**marupok-pok.**

 

after that, medyo naging busy si baekhyun sa thesis nya, as a responsible student din na medyo malandi. hindi naman nya iniiwasan as in total avoidance si chanyeol. he was busy din. facts. 

 

they message each other pa rin. pero ramdam mo yung coldness in baekhyun's part. if chanyeol notices, he doesn't react. he's just the same chanyeol. and baekhyun wanted to cry. kasi naman, paano ba naman, sobrang sweet pa rin sa kanya. may mga _"have you eaten"_ messages pa rin. may _"drink water, babe"_ pa rin. and you don't do that sa fuck buddy mo. but then chanyeol has always been like that. yung relationship nila does not just revolve sa fucking. but baekhyun was tired. 

 

pagod na si baekhyun magbigay ng hints. though he had to admit he's tanga din.

 

pagod na si baekhyun basahin si chanyeol. because he never lets him in. hanggang surface lang siya.

 

_so every have you eaten message ni chanyeol is every yes i have ni baekhyun._

 

at hanggang dun na lang yun. chanyeol will not reply. kasi wala namang kareply reply dun. minsan may pahabol siyang "good" and baekhyun will stop there.

 

hindi na siya nagiinitiate ng topic.

 

_every drink water, babe is every like lang ng message ni baekhyun._

ayaw niyang thirsty si baekhyun. cute.

 

baekhyun felt bad. pero ginagawa rin niya to para sa kanya. kasi he was falling too deep. tapos ang sakit naman kung walang sasalo diba?

 

so he either confesses his feelings para kay chanyeol or stops feeling that way altogether.

 

para clear sila. para walang samaan ng feelings after. sex with him was fantastic. siguro hanggang dun lang talaga sila.

 

baekhyun knows chanyeol cares for him. and maybe that's enough.

 

hell week is here and baekhyun was too busy sa thesis nila (note: niya) and he hopes chanyeol took it as good excuse para ipause muna ung fucking session nila. because let's be honest here, kahit baekhyun swore sa sugo ng mga kabaklaan na hindi na nya uunahin ang feelings nya, tite na pinaguusapan dito. sure, he can suppress his feelings na kay chanyeol. but will he say no sa quick fuck din? especially if chanyeol can hit all the right spots?

 

the answer is isang marupok na no.

 

baekhyun realized and finally knew where he stood. as a friend ni chanyeol, like yung pakilala nya sa family, kung saan truth be told, medyo masakit pa rin sa kanya.

 

kasi friend lang siya.

 

and haha co-gamer din lang.

 

which byun family didn't buy by the way.

 

so, ayun dahil nga alam na nya kung saan siya nakatayo, he would gladly be chanyeol's friend at co-gamer and sometimes labasan din ng sama ng loob, literal and figurative.

 

pero wala muna talagang tite appointment today.

 

kasi busy nga siya.

 

and maybe chanyeol wouldn't notice he stopped chasing.

 

but alas,

 

_chanyeol is always the wiser._

 

_baekhyun may have stopped chasing._

 

_but chanyeol is only just starting._

 

 

 


	5. rupok part 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> kung saan chanyeol stopped running away

chanyeol park, at the age of 22, would really admit wholeheartedly, that he's an idiot. a 6'2" big-eared idiot. hindi niya itatanggi yun. kasi if he denies, his friends: (read: sehun and jongin would roll their eyes, at tatawa nang malakas) kasi and we quote jongin "ikaw na dude ang pinakatanga sa lahat ng naging tanga para kay baekhyun byun." unquote, slash 2017.

chanyeol would then stare kay jongin, kasi that's simply not true. who is he para magpakatanga sa isang lalaki diba? and who is baekhyun para gawin siyang tanga? he never was the one to go gaga over a person, heck over a guy, heck over some short dude - with cute button nose, rectangle smile, droopy but beautiful eyes - well you get it. hindi siya whipped okay. he's just simply chanyeol.

at si chanyeol ay isang flirt.

tirador kumbaga ng mga lalaki at babae.

if you asked chanyeol kung paano sila nagkakilala ni baekhyun, ngingiti muna siya ng ilang segundo, tapos pipikit na para bang nagrereminisce talaga, tapos tatawa kasi gaano nga ba kacliche of all cliche yung pagkikita nila?

in a bar.

after UAAP.

where all the magic happens.

everyone na naging one night stand ni chanyeol or everyone na naging fuck buddy nya would say he's not only great in bed. but also a great listener.

so, nung nakita nya sa isang sulok si baekhyun. without any friends to accompany and looking tipsy na nakatingin lang sa kawalan. he started moving.

kanina pa nya napansin si baekhyun sa bench pa lang when games are ongoing. magkaibang team, magkaibang school, pero magkatapat na bench. he was with a friend yata kanina. and chanyeol found him really cute.

really small. with a small face din. yung balat maputi. yung ngipin sobrang straight. (hopefully yun lang ang straight sa kanya gay lord please?) at sobrang ganda ng smile. chanyeol couldn't help but stare. buong game, ang naglalaro sa utak nya ay ang isang super-cute-pero-please-sana-hindi-siya-straight-and-sana-down-siya-for-a-fuck-lord-or-kahit-down-for-a-kwento-lang-gusto-ko-siya-magsmile-sa-akin-please na isko.

and chanyeol knew he was lucky this day.

kasi nga nasa harap na nya si baekhyun. he found out his name after introducing himself. ang tapang talaga ni gago pag nakakailang shots na eh.

and baekhyun wasn't too subtle din.

so 10 minutes pa ng small talk. and they're making out at the back. open mouthed kisses, with nasty tongues taste of alcohol and cigarette.

30 minutes, they're groping and grinding each other.

40 minutes, chanyeol was driving. baekhyun was too impatient and srarted rubbing his thighs. with whispers ng "please bilisan mo"

an hour, nasa condo na sila ni chanyeol. both undressed, thankfully it's a studio so kama agad ang bagsak.  
  
and the rest? spent in pure bliss.  
  
chanyeol knew it was not going to be a one night stand. kasi after yung one fuck, came the morning sex. tapos may pagblow sa cr. tapos luto ng breakfast. very domestic agad.  
  
tapos may pamakeout habang nakaupo sa sofa while trying to watch.  
  
and then isa pang round before going home.  
  
may pa-grope pa siya ng pwet before letting baekhyun go.  
  
and chanyeol knew he was fucked. not literally.  
  
kasi hindi lang siya one time all out sex nga, at hindi lang sex ang kayang ibigay ni baekhyun.  
  
he gives mindblowing (i know) blowjobs, yes, pero.  
  
he gives emotional support din.  
  
he gives super funny kwento.  
  
he gives advices.  
  
and chanyeol is beyond thankful.  
  
kaya these past few days lang, when baekhyun was acting weird, he was alarmed.  
  
napansin na nya to sa bahay pa lang ng mga byun. and chanyeol didn't want to relive it.  
  
as much as he likes baekhyun's family kasi, pinapakita lang nun yung family nya na ibang-iba sa kanila. yung family nyang hindi tanggap kung ano man siya, kung sino man siya.  
  
and maybe that was one thing din na nagpapastop kay chanyeol to get attached altogether. kasi hindi pa siya ready.  
  
saan ba?  
  
hindi pa siya ready to face the reality na ganito siya. kasi hanggang ngayon natatakot pa rin siya sa family nya. kasi gusto pa rin niya ng acceptance sa iba bago niya tanggapin sarili niya.  
  
minsan, chanyeol would think it's really wrong. chanyeol would think na whatever he does, may nasasaktan. so better to stop right?  
  
so long as he doesn't get his heart involved, it's better.  
  
until baekhyun came.  
  
chanyeol knew. hindi siya tanga. pero hindi rin siya asshole. but he knew baekhyun had feelings for him.  
  
hindi lang nya alam kung paano iaacknowledge kasi siya rin sa sarili nya couldn't acknowledge what he feels. not that he doesn't feel anything. HE FEELS.  
  
he just doesn't get it.  
  
may times na iniisip nya baekhyun will move on din.  
  
na it's better to prevent his feelings na lang.  
  
kasi then, his hyun would not suffer sa kanya. any more.  
  
pero now?  
  
when realization sinks in?  
  
ang sakit pala mabalewala. kasi si hyun na lang ang meron siya.  
  
ang sarap pala nang may nagaalaga. kasi si hyun na lang ang may pake sa kanya.  
  
ang sarap pala nang may nagmamahal. kasi si hyun lang talaga.  
  
at sana hindi pa huli ang lahat.  
  
kasi kung hindi si baekhyun?  
  
sino pa ba?  
  
chanyeol park, 22, would admit he's an idiot.  
  
hindi na siya natuto.

  
~

chanyeol went home sa family house nya sa makati after finishing his last subject for the day. his mom texted him to go home and celebrate his ate yoora's birthday with them.

nung una, he hesitated.

he could always reason out he has class.

though truth be told, he doesn't want to go to any of his classes anymore.

he just doesn't have the will.

on top of that, it's been two weeks since he and baekhyun last talked.

the last message being "are you busy? :(" niya na hindi nireplyan ni baekhyun. hindi rin niya ni-seen.

hindi rin siya online sa social media apps. instagram, 2 weeks din since he was last active. twitter, wala rin.

so that made him feel relieved ng kaunti.

because that only shows hindi lang siya yung ghinost ni baekhyun byun.

baekhyun byun may have ghosted the entire world.

another relief washed through him, nung nagkalakas na siya ng loob na tanungin yung best friend (kyungsoo not jongdae) ni baekhyun na boyfriend ng best friend nya (jongin) about baekhyun's whereabouts.

the only thing kyungsoo said, pero enough na.

"give him three weeks to get through hell week." sabi niya, may pairap nang kaunti to which jongin just laughed.

hindi niya alam kung bakit pati si kyungsoo ay agit na?

last time he remembers, si jongdae lang.

and he doesn't want to be reminded about jongdae.

PLEASE lang.

so medyo naparoll eyes siya nung sinabi ni kyungsoo yung next line nya, na tumawa naman ng pagkalakas-lakas si jongin na gusto nyang pasakan ng medyas.

"magjakol ka na lang muna."

and chanyeol knows being in UP is much harder than his tite. so okay lang sa kanya.

and as much as he is a fuckboy, hindi naman nya habol lang sex kay baekhyun.

heck, he cares for him.

to hell with it, he loves him.

oh my god.

love?

love.

he loves baekhyun.

final answer na ba?

final answer na tito boy, chanyeol's subconscious would taunt him.

so dito na nga siya sa dilemma nya sa buhay.

chanyeol, at 22, experienced being in a rollercoaster of emotions: nandyan yung wala na siyang will tapusin ang pag-aaral, yung kawalan niya ng enthusiasm makita pamilya niya except for ate yoora siguro, and yung realization na mahal nya yung katotnakan nya. unti-unti siyang kinakain ng mga feelings nya.

pero yung nangingibabaw?

ung overwhelming?

makita si baekhyun.

so maybe nagkaroon ng spark sa puso nya. at he just found himself driving papunta sa makita. he will get through another tense dinner with his family with baekhyun on his mind. he HAS to.

sana lang things go according to what he wants.

sana lang his father won't have another talk with him about his career change. sana hindi rin ungkatin yung lifestyle nya. yung sexuality nya.

and sana his mother, once and for all, would speak up naman for him. kasi he's tired.

well yung mga sana is sana nga lang talaga.

kasi his father still talked about his being a pilot instead.

his father still talked about wanting him to have a girlfriend and live a hetero life. yikes.

and his mother still kept quiet.

this time too, he erupted.

kasi he was tired.

he realized and finally accepted it would be impossible for his family na tanggapin siya. and he already accepted he didn't care. for the longest time.

siguro yung blood is thicker than water na idiom lang yung nagpapastay sa kanya. kung bakit hindi rin niya alam.

siguro nga minsan he's really an idiot.

pero ngayon ayaw na nya ng validation from his family.

the only thing he likes na makita is yung rectangle smile ni baekhyun, gusto lang nyang marinig ung obnoxious na tawa ni baekhyun, gusto lang nyang mahawakan yung malambot na kamay ni baekhyun, gusto lang nyang halikan malalambot na labi ni baekhyun.

_baekhyun._

_baekhyun._

_baekhyun._

chanyeol park, for the first time ever, felt the loneliest he's ever felt in his life. at hindi yun dahil sa family nya.

he just needed baekhyun to make him feel whole.

sana lang this time, baekhyun would respond.

sana this time, baekhyun stopped sa gitna. kasi chanyeol was ready to meet him in the middle.

he finally stopped running away.

and boy does he feel free din.


	6. rupok part 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> kung saan nung nagsabog ng katangahan at kaduwagan present pala silang pareho

one day, isang araw, while baekhyun was "stu-dying", tumunog yung phone nya and dahil zero ang attention span nya talaga. for real. kinuha nya yun at inunlock.

sobrang frustrated na siya sa mga cases na kailangan nyang basahin. kasi super dami? and worst? walang pumapasok sa utak nya. sobrang drained na siya. at kailangan nya siguro ng distraction.

at napakaganda nga namang distractions neto.

at bilang marupokpok din, as what kyungsoo likes to call him.

bigay agad si bading.

namiss nya eh.

"can i see you today?" walang any-any. wala man lang hi hi. straight to the point talaga si chanyeol lagi.

baekhyun, madami ka pang cases, baks. "what time?"

"what time are you available?" he asked ulit.

medyo nagfrown si baekhyun, kasi parang may mali. wala man lang pagsuyo? two weeks yata silang di nagusap hello!!! na to be fair, siya rin may kasalanan. pero, baekhyun likes to argue din, na it takes TWO to tango so.

at dahil taurus siya at petty sila, he replied with the same tone. yan ikaw na lang makikipagkita, be kind naman.

"9 pm?" that's as how cold as he could be.

wala eh, mahal nya eh.

"okkkk i'll go there ba? or meet tayo somewhere?"

baekhyun wants to go out din. so niligpit nya muna ang mga gamit nya na nakasmile pa sa kanya. medyo dramatic na nagsigh habang sinasamsam ang mga ito. careful na hindi magusot ni kyungsoo kasi minsan pag hayok na hayok sila ni jongin, nagugusot pati gamit nya so. mamaya ka na vs....... may tite appointment lang ako.

~

baekhyun waited sa mcdo somewhere along QC. medyo may pag-alala pa nga siya kasi 20 minutes nang late si chanyeol. and hindi na nya macontact. abang na abang din siya sa sasakyan neto. nang may biglang yumakap sa likuran nya. muntik na niyang masuntok to. kasi naman diba? gago lang? akala nya kidnapper? akala nya mauudlot dick appointment nya. muntik na siyang ngumawa.

pero nung maramdaman nya ang familiar na mga bisig at braso at familiar na init at hininga. taray. kabisado.

jowa ka ba? jowa?

nainis pa rin siya at humarap dito. pero nung makita nya yung mukha, para namang nalaglag yung puso nya.

chanyeol looked so sad.

yung mga kakatapos lang nang pag-iyak na mukha. he has huge adorable eyes, pero lalong lumaki kasi mugto ito. cute. baekhyun is so whipped talaga, mga bading. tapos hindi siya nagsasalita.

"hey," napaclear ng throat si baekhyun tapos hinawakan ang magkabilang pisngi neto, "why?" tanong nya.

umiling lang si chanyeol tapos ngumiti ng pilit. "usap tayo sa car?" tanong nya, medyo hoarse yung boses.

baekhyun nodded absentmindedly. ngayon lang nya nakita si chanyeol na ganun. sa 2 years nilang magkakilala, never nagopen up emotionally sa kanya.

true, may times na he saw him cry pero dahil yun sa mga anime na napanood nila, as a weeaboo.

pero ngayon, baekhyun knew kung gano kabigat yung situation. it's not because of your name. ilang beses na nilang pinanood yun. hindi na siya nakakaiyak.

it was something else. and baekhyun felt his heart clenching.

kasi naman. ayaw nyang ganito si chanyeol.

kahit siya na lang. lord, please.

siya na lang, in all aspects.

fuck. please naman.

 

~

 

nakaupo na sila sa kotse ni chanyeol.

chanyeol was just staring ahead. sniffling. oh diba umiyak nga si gago.

medyo iyakin.

tapos baekhyun faced him, di naman nagsalita. hihintayin na lang nya. kasi he knows chanyeol. pag pinilit mo lalong hindi nagoopen up.

mga 2 minutes after, chanyeol took a deep breath, tapos tumawa, "had a fight with dad again."

tapos baekhyun just nodded, urging him to continue.

hindi na bago yung pagaaway ni chanyeol at ng dad nya. and for different reasons yun. minsan dahil irresponsible daw si chanyeol. minsan dahil ayaw nya talaga ng legal management para sa kanya. minsan dahil laging wala sa bahay. at madalas, dahil sa lifestyle nya.

and baekhyun resented chanyeol's dad too. di niya deserve to have a dad like him. and sometimes baekhyun hates himself. kasi, he feels bad for chanyeol. na sana every dad is understanding as his dad.

pero hindi naman yun pwede.

that's unfair din for chanyeol.

so he kept quiet. he's like that sa mga kwento ni chanyeol about his family. kasi he urged him more. pero hanggang dun lang lagi. para bang ayun na yung binayaran nyang free trial.

so this time, di na nakapagpigil si baekhyun. he wants to know more na rin.

"is this really bad this time?" sana maganda pagkakaphrase nya. and sana di maoffend si already very upset chanyeol.

chanyeol took it good, fortunately. he just nodded. sniffled pa ng kaunti tapos kinuyom yung palad nya. he was just very very sad and frustrated and galit sa sarili nya. kasi why is he like that diba.

chanyeol's just feeling extremely upset in all aspects. but thank god, thank gay god, hindi siya nagiisa.

he has his hyun.

and his hyun being the understanding one, hinawakan nya yung kamay nya and unclenched his fists. tapos pinilit siyang patinginin para tumitig with his equally understanding eyes.

shit talaga.

namiss nya to.

chanyeol just nodded. and then sighed. then got startled when baekhyun let go of his hands but then eased up nung pumunta yun sa thighs nya. he rubbed it comfortably na nagparelax naman sa kanya agad.

this is bad.

hindi sila nagdadrive nakabukas lang ang makina para sa aircon. nasa parking sila ng mcdo. with nowhere to go.

ayaw nyang umuwi sa condo with baekhyun kasi alam naman nila kung saan ulit mapupunta lahat. and as much as he wants baekhyun, ayaw naman nyang ayun na lang lagi yung gagawin nila. sex with baekhyun is great. always.

pero ayaw nyang ayan na lang isipin ni baekhyun na gusto nya.

ayaw na nya.

"did i disturb you from your studies?" chanyeol asked.

baekhyun, still rubbing his hand on his right thigh, shook his head. inisqueeze nya his knee. sabay sabi, "i needed this too. masyado na kong stressed sa pag-aaral." he said na medyo irita kasi bakit na naman nabring up yung studies diba.

weren't they supposed to fuck?

so kelan istart ni chanyeol yung kotse?

or gudto ba ni chanyeol he would ride him here din? mismo?

chanyeol snorted. "you're running away again, hyun." he said softly. sinabi rin niya ito with good measure kasi ayaw nyang maoffend si baekhyun.

if there is something baekhyun hates more than anything, chanyeol notices, ay pag dinidiktahan bawat kilos nya, or pag kinocontrol siya.

baekhyun is a free soul. liberated.

and chanyeol doesn't want to change that.

pero sometimes you have to tell baekhyun too, what to do, or how he should do something. because dun lang nya marerealize yung mga bagay.

binawi agad ni baekhyun yung kamay nya tapos tumingin sa window. wala naman siyang makikita. madilim.

tapos maya maya sinandal na lang yung ulo sa upuan tapos pumikit. "pagod na ako mag-aral talaga. isa na lang naman na exam." sabi niya.

"hmmmm" chanyeol just hummed completely not buying it.

and baekhyun knows chanyeol doesn't believe him so he glared kunwari. "aren't we gonna do something?" tanong ulit ni hyun.

chanyeol burst out laughing tapos umiling.

of course.

"yes," he nodded. "how about spontaneous roadtrip? tagaytay?" he suggested playfully na may pagwiggle pa ng eyebrows.

baekhyun widened his eyes, "seryoso ka?" medyo napalakas boses nya nung nagstart na engine ni chanyeol.

napatingin siya sa cellphone nya.

11 p.m. na.

gago talaga si chanyeol.

kung they're gonna fuck at ayaw nya sa condo, they could always rent a hotel nearby.

pero iba talaga yung trip ni chanyeol minsan. pero dahil baekhyun is marupok and would do anything para kay love of his life (yikes) na maging masaya, he agreed.

not like may choice din siya diba.

so, nandito na sila ngayon, on the way sa tagaytay.

buti na lang nagshower siya.

buti na rin medyo may charge pa phone nya.

at higit sa lahat buti he unplugged his laptop.

akala nya kasi it's just gonna be a quick fuck sa sasakyan.

aba itatagaytay pa pala siya.

 

~

 

 

past 2 a.m. ng makarating sila sa tagaytay. they booked a hotel sa bukana lang ng tagaytay. baekhyun texted kyungsoo muna kasi he got 3 missed calls agad.

 

parang mommy naman talaga.

tapos ang reply lang nung tinext nya he's with chanyeol?

 

 

"k, have fun. malandutay"

 

tapos eto na nga. he's sitting in the bed na.

si chanyeol was making calls lang sandali. ang tagal.

wala nang palabas sa tv so he was bored. and tired na rin. medyo nakatulog na nga siya kanina sa sasakyan. chanyeol just woke him up nung mga malapit na sila sa tagaytay.

so eto siya ngayon in a brink of falling asleep when chanyeol entered the room and laid beside him.

"hmm" baekhyun hummed nung naramdaman nya yung lips ni chanyeol sa leeg nya.

eto na ba yun?

"hyun..." sabi ni chanyeol softly. "baby...."

baekhyun opened one of his eyes nang dahan-dahan. "yes?" he whispered. sobrang close kasi nung mukha nila. and baekhyun felt his heart beating rapidly na naman.

he could see every detail ng mukha ni chanyeol. and boy does he fall in love deeper.

"may sasabihin ako." sabi pa neto.

"hmmmm" he hummed again. cue na yun para ituloy ni chanyeol kung anuman yung sasabihin nya.

"please please makinig ka lang?" he said cutely. that baekhyun couldn't help but smile. somehow, yung image ni chanyeol na panicking is very amusing and very cute.

"ganito kasi...." medyo namumula na siya.

baekhyun just stared. "chanyeol park." he said sternly. "may erectile dysfunction ka ba?"

chanyeol looked at him wide-eyed. "ha? hindi!" he said na medyo tumalsik pa laway. baekhyun laughed out loud.

sobrang cute talaga ni chanyeol when he's flustered.

tapos seryoso ulit?

hot.

"ganito kasi, hyun. pakinggan mo lang ako okay?" sabi niya pa. hinawakan yung kamay ni baekhyun tapos hinalikan. it was baekhyun's turn to blush. "hyun..... may mga narealize ako."

shit.

is this the end?

baekhyun was scared. gusto na nya isarado tenga nya. kung pwede lang eh.

"2 years na rin since i met you. tapos my life has never been the same. shit. paano ko ba to sasabihin without being too cheesy? basta alam mo yung lyrics somewhere along you give sun to my cloudy day? ayun ba yun?"

baekhyun giggled.

ang cute talaga pota. sarap laplapin.

and to reiterate, ive got sunshine to a cloudy day yun. and my girl yun chanyeol.

regardless, ang cute talaga puta.

"what i'm trying to say is. ikaw lang yung tumagal na fuck buddy ko. at alam mo naman diba? hyun? sana alam mo."

kinabahan na naman si baekhyun.

ano ba yun.

ano ba dapat nyang malaman?

"hyun.... alam ko. sana alam mo rin."

pa-vague si gago talaga.

"a-ano yun?" he stuttered.

"hyun, mahal kita. sana mahal mo rin ako? please?" this was the most fucked up confession and chanyeol knew he could do better than that.

pero minsan lang tumibok puso ni chanyeol.

at kahit borta to, awkward to inside.

baekhyun just sat there dumbfounded naman. mahal ba siya neto as a friend? or as a co-gamer?

ginagago ba siya neto as a friend din?

bibitawan nya sana yung kamay ni chanyeol nung biglang humigpit ito, "please makinig ka. hindi ko rin alam kung kailan ko narealize or kung kailan nagstop pagkatanga ko. pero ang gusto ko lang ikaw. yung pamilya ko? they will never accept me. natanggap ko na rin yun. ikaw lang ang mayroon ako ngayon, baekhyun. (shet full name) ikaw rin lang ang nagiisa sa buhay ko ngayon. tapos narealize ko ang tanga ko kung pakakawalan pa kita."

baekhyun was crying.

kasi chanyeol was crying too.

"k-kasi naduwag lang ako? napakagago ko naman. kahit sarili ko hindi ko patatawarin nun."

he sniffled sandali tapos he took a deep breath.

"hyun, alam ko mahal mo rin ako."

baekhyun whined.

"susuntukin mo na ba ko? pano ko nalaman? kasi ramdam ko lang. kasi ikaw lang nagstay sakin. kasi ikaw lang nakakaintindi. tapos hanggang nasanay na lang akong nandyan ka. hanggang ikaw na lang gusto ko laging makasama. tapos inisip ko if it isn't love hindi ka naman magsstay diba knowing how terrible of a person i am? ikaw lang nakakatiis sakin hyun. and if it isn't love what is?" sabi niya pa, in between crying.

baekhyun then sobbed, binitawan yung kamay ni chanyeol then frantically tried to wipe his tears with his bare hands.

ang gago ni chanyeol?

lagi nagpapaiyak.

kaya pala siya dinala sa tagaytay.

para paiyakin sa maganda namang hotel.

pangit nga naman if sa mcdo parking lang somewhere sa QC.

"please please stop crying. say something." hinawakan ni chanyeol yung pisngi nya then thumbed his tears away. "hyun, mahal kita. mahal na mahal. and i'm sorry kung nasaktan kita. i'm sorry kung super gago ko. sorry." he kissed his hair and forehead. "sorry."

baekhyun just kept on crying. kasi hindi niya alam sasabihin niya. para bang sasabog puso niya everytime.

sobrang overwhelmed nya.

at sobrang mahal niya si chanyeol.

sobrang sakit din.

hindi na niya alam.

chanyeol just let him cry sa chest neto. tapos after 5 minutes, there's silence. ramdam ni baekhyun yung mga kamay sa likod nya, still softly rubbing his arms tapos ruffling his hair.

"y-yeol." the first word he uttered. "not now."

at parang malalaglag yung puso ni chanyeol. nagstop ang pagtrace ng palad sa likod nya.

"hear me out first?" tiningala ni baekhyun. nalugmok si chanyeol nung makita nya yung namumugtong mata ni baekhyun. pero he still nodded.

"i love you. sobrang tagal na kitang mahal, yeol. pero help me find myself first? tulungan mo ko. and i would appreciate it kung hindi muna tayo? sobra kong binigay puso ko tapos ngayong medyo tanggap ko na, bigla kang nandyan. masakit siya, yeol." sabi ni baekhyun. may pain sa boses nya. "just let me be first okay? sayo lang naman ako eh." sabi niya pa, while wiping his tears alone.

 

pero bakit parang may pumapatak na iba?

that's when he noticed chanyeol's crying too.

so now na-alarma siya.

shit.

no.

"hyun," sobrang soft naman neto, and medyo hoarse. "a-am i too late?" tanong ni chanyeol, na medyo natatakot sa sagot.

"no, babe. no. hindi." sabi ni baekhyun. it's his turn to wipe his tears away.

napa-babe na rin siya ih.

"just give me time?" sabi niya, sana ung suggestion ay helpful. "come on, wag ka naman magpout. alam mo weak ako diyan. at alam mo naman we're both tanga for each other. we'll make it." sabi niya, trying to lighten up the situation.

chanyeol gulped then nodded, tapos niyakap ulit si baekhyun. then baekhyun just giggled.

finally.

at peace.

akalain mo yun? si gago pala mahal din siya?

sobrang tanga pala nila.

he just needs to fix something muna. yung sarili nya. at yung grades nya.

"so all this time we're having sex with feelings?" sabi ni baekhyun, his voice teasing.

chanyeol just grunted.

sobrang cute talaga ng chanyeol park pag flustered.

baekhyun is the number one witness.

 

~

"hyun," chanyeol whispered, may sweat na sa noo niya. nagpipigil na siya mag-moan. pero sobrang sarap.

paano ba naman kasi sobrang risky ng ginagawa ng boyfriend nya sa kanya? (yes, boyfriend na. for 3 months.)

baekhyun's giving him head sa library ng ateneo. wag nyo nang alamin kung paano nakapasok si baekhyun dun.

at kung paano nila nagagawa ang mga ganyang bagay.

pag horny ka, horny ka.

end of convo.

ilang suck pa and chanyeol came inside baekhyun's mouth. rinig pa nya yung pag-slurp na bigla namang kina-twitch ng tite nya ulit.

tangina talaga.

hindi na nya alam gagawin sa exhibitionist nyang boyfriend.

but then he's happy.

he's content.

he's comfortable.

you could say na for two years nilang fuck buddies, it really is only a matter of time before they start developing feelings.

alas they did.

and chanyeol was happy kasi si baekhyun yun.

baekhyun reciprocated din naman.

they're happy with each other, 2 years ago.

they're even happier with each other now.

let's have a rundown shall we?

2 years fuck buddies,

in between, there's a year and a half of baekhyun having feelings. isang taon para ka chanyeol.

5 months hiatus (LOL) para sa space na hinihingi ni baekhyun. but they still texted each other. saw each other. damn, they went on dates together. nag-singapore pa ang dalawa. (doon naging official sila.) yaw q na.

3 months, official boyfriends. sa 3 months they did na yata in all places possible para matry pagka-exhibitionist of his hyun.

 

sabi nga ng kanta ng december avenue,

 

 

"ikaw mula noon,

ikaw hanggang ngayon."

 

and totoo nga,

 

dahil kung hindi nga si baekhyun, ay sino pa ba?

 

and yes, do kyungsoo is ~~always~~ (pinatanggal ni baekhyun) right.


End file.
